Join psychologist and consciousness researcher Kirsty Allan for an inspiring evening with Conscious Cafe, exploring why being a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) is not a weakness—but actually a powerful gift.
Kirsty reveals how high sensitivity, once overlooked, is fast becoming central to conscious leadership and community healing.
Learn how your deep empathy, creativity, and intuitive awareness are part of a rare and valuable processing style shared by just 20% of the population.
Through this event, Kirsty will guide you to embrace your innate magic, overcome common challenges like self-doubt and burnout, and step into your authentic purpose with clarity and confidence.
A recording of the event is included with your ticket price.
Kirsty Allan is a psychologist, author, consciousness researcher, certified coach, therapist and community leader (working with Broughton Sanctuary, Wyrd Research, University of Northampton and more). She explores what it means to truly be ‘highly sensitive’. Kirsty invites you to join her in a movement of sensitive seekers who want to thrive - to step up and into their authentic roles in life. "My aim is to help sensitive people self-empower themselves so they can do their highest good in the world".
Kirsty's websites are belong.theifcrowd.com and kirstylucindaallan.com/
ConsciousCafe Singapore hosted a joyous and meaningful discussion recently on the topic of "The Good Life". We love how international our group is, with people hailing from all over the world - it gives us all such an opportunity to learn new things from different viewpoints. This meet-up in particular was a great example of both Western and Eastern perspectives enriching the conversation.
There were so many different aspects to discuss within our theme. Preparedness and acceptance of life's uncertainties was a big one, and one we have delved into before here at ConsciousCafe Singapore. It certainly hits home with a lot of people, how unpredictable and often hard life can be - how to we deal with things beyond our control, and the emotions that come along with that?
But on a more positive note, the list of attributes that make "The Good Life" grew with each turn of the conversation. Love & relationships, health & happiness, curiosity & purpose, a sprinkle of humour & a pint of beer - so many examples, and a whole host of differing priorities. It was such a mindful moment, to be able to sit and talk about what we are grateful for in life, and how many wondrous things can build us all a good life.
And now we want to pass the question on. What do you think makes "The Good Life", and what are you grateful for in yours?
HK
ConsciousCafe Singapore Leader
Since it's humble beginnings, Conscious Cafe Geneva's meetings have taken place at the MLC Café-Littéraire, a charming coffee-cum-bookshop in the heart of Carouge, run by the lovely Francis. Due to ongoing renovations, the café is set to close for while, which set group leader Debbie King the task of finding a new space.
"I thought it would be REALLY difficult," says Debbie. "So I set aside a day to go hunting for one in Geneva, thinking it would be the first of several expeditions. And guess what - I found three! Not a single person refused me. At the venue I liked the most, the patron simply opened his arms and said 'of course! Walk this way and look at this little room beside the bar which you can have all to yourselves FREE, whenever you want.' AMAZING."
Debbie left town feeling on top of the world, with the most powerful thought: the universe truly provides for a well-intentioned deed.
ConsciousCafe Canterbury held a wonderful, deep and honest conversation on the topic of uncertainty at The Conservatory, which is the perfect place with an intimate feel. Perfect to hold a thoughtful and mindful discussion.
Our conversation ranged far and wide from talking to the moon, and finding solace from the moon and nature. We realised that we need to accept uncertainty as part of life. We felt that religion may help some people deal with uncertainty by giving them something they could trust in and a feeling of something greater than themselves. One participant, Vicky, said it is best to “go with the flow and accept that we are just a little wave on the ocean”.
Each of our group looked back to a time many years ago when they faced uncertainty and dealt with it and looked at what they had learnt. Richard remembered that at a difficult time of uncertainty in his career, keeping a dialogue with everyone really helped him. Another participant said that she had learnt that uncertainty “bears a gift”, and “we can learn to thrive on uncertainty. Feel it, allow it and surrender. See what your gut feels”.
Everyone is different in their reactions to uncertainty. For some, it may trigger fear and stop them progressing whilst others feel the fear and uncertainty but don’t let it hold them back. What are your experiences with uncertainty?
This post is written by Cora Kemball-Cook, leader of ConsciousCafe Canterbury. Follow the Canterbury group page to keep up to date with upcoming meetings!
ConsciousCafe London met for their first 2019 gathering to enjoy a discussion on the topic of Expectations versus Reality.As soon as we began to explore the subject, it became obvious that expectations versus reality touches every aspect of our lives several times throughout each day.
We have expectations of others and expectations of ourselves. Sometimes we are much harder on ourselves if we fail to achieve our own expectations than we are on others who we feel have let us down.
We have expectations of how people will treat us - at home and at work - and few people are able to live up to our ideals. We have expectations of organisations, expectations of systems and expectations of technology. In our Western society we expect things to work. When systems fail us - as happens frequently - we often struggle with disappointment and frustration.
In Western society we have little tolerance for systems not working. If we lived in a more fragile society, we would not know what to expect on a daily basis. We also don't know what our expectations of the future of the planet might or should be. Our expectations are infinite and our knowledge very limited.
Our solutions to the problem of expectations versus reality included expressing gratitude for everything we have, focusing on what we receive from others that makes us happy rather than what makes us unhappy and doing our best to live in the present moment so that we are not constantly focusing on our expectations of what will happen in the future.
The topic was very enriching and people shared generously of their feelings - both expectations, disappointments and positive outcomes.
Thank you Gita Shri Kumari for a beautiful and inspiring meditation to start the event. Thank you everyone who took part. I hope I have expressed your experience of the event but do please add comments if I missed anything out.
We look forward to seeing you again soon.
** If you haven't been to a ConsciousCafe discussion before, come and join us. Everyone present took part in the above discussion. We explored the topic in small groups and then came together to share. Our combined exploration resulted in much personal discovery. It was a great afternoon.
Dear Friend,
ConsciousCafe has experienced a lovely 2018, full of expansion and innovation. We started the year with thriving groups in London, Bath, Bristol, Canterbury, SW Dorset (Dorchester), New Forest, Oundle, Skipton, Plymouth and Geneva. In March Nicola Foster facilitated her first discussion for ConsciousCafe in St Albans and in September John Sackett and Joy Sackett launched their new Bournemouth group. We have had several requests from people who would also like to launch groups. Viv Garbe will launch East Herts (Stevenage) in 2019 and Hanna Krasnodevska will create our second international group in Singapore early next year too.
Another first was receiving the special Editor’s Pick Award for 2018 from Kindred Spirit. For seven years now we have created the space for people to come together and explore a wide range of topics in an atmosphere of mutual understanding and non-judgment. During that time we have shared many deep and intimate conversations and have seen beautiful friendships being formed. We are all proud of what we have created and so it was a lovely gift to have our work recognised by Kindred Spirit who really ‘get’ what we offer.
Every group has a varied range of activities. Some groups have monthly discussions while other groups offer keynote speakers and events.
In London we have had a range of experiences. Isabel Losada’s talk about Sensational Sex in March was hugely popular and has also been very warmly received at our ConsciousCafe Plymouth and Canterbury groups.
Jane Bailey Bain talked about How to Create Your Future Story to packed houses in both Geneva and London. Christa Mackinnon’s talk to our group in Plymouth was sold out and she will be sharing her presentation with Q&A in London early next year. Our groups in Skipton and New Forest also offer a wide range of activities as well as discussions.
Meanwhile ConsciousCafe conversations have taken place on a huge variety of subjects. There is so much innovation and creativity among all our members and our Group Leaders have been taking full advantage of that.
In London we have explored Self-Love, Overload Anxiety, Courage (an idea which originated from our St Albans group), Creativity, and Self-Care. Mikkel Juel Iversen facilitated a truly memorable conversation about Homelessness and Dina Glouberman, known to many of you as the co-founder of Skyros, spoke about the themes of her newly published memoir. In the autumn patisserie chain Konditor and Cook offered us gorgeous space for Colin Smith who gave us an excellent workshop on Improving our Listening Skills. This turned out to be a particularly fun evening as we held a networking event beforehand followed by supper at Pizza Express afterwards. We have also enjoyed a Summer Tea and a Winter Festive Tea, having the opportunity to spend time together in a relaxed atmosphere on a Saturday afternoon with no one needing to rush to catch their train home.
When we first launched ConsciousCafe the world was not in so much turmoil as it is now. But as we approach 2019, after a challenging and difficult year for so many people globally, it is becoming increasingly important that we make the time to talk to one another about the things that really matter to each one of us. It is often only by speaking about them that we can truly explore what our thoughts and feelings and ideas are. And it is only by listening to one another in an atmosphere of trust and mutual respect, that we can hope to be able to understand each other’s differences. ConsciousCafe offers that space and the opportunity to connect with likeminded conscious people who we might not otherwise meet.
We thank you for joining the conversation during 2018 and hope to see you in 2019. Please feel free to invite your friends to ConsciousCafe. So many people tell us that their lives have been deeply enriched by having the opportunity to join this community.
Every ConsciousCafe leader gives their time generously and freely. Huge thanks go out from all of us to Britt, Jo, Peter, Anne, Charlie, Cora, Helena, Gina, Nicola, Debbie, Grace, Alan, John, Joy, Viv, Hanna and all of you who are supporting them. All our leaders come from their hearts.
We offer a huge thank you to everyone who has helped us financially this year and especially our generous supporters. I work 2 – 3 days a week for ConsciousCafe and everything we do is funded by all of you who support our vision and our events. We always try to keep the price as low as we can so that everyone can take part.
As always, we are very grateful to Joyce Deen for her care in admin and book-keeping and to Kate Cowan who is responsible and thoughtful about all our marketing. We welcome Tess Burton who has just joined us to develop our social media profile.
If ConsciousCafe has nurtured your soul this year and if you would like to help us launch more groups next year so that more people can benefit from what we offer, please become a ConsciousCafe supporter for 2019 (£50 or £40 (concessions)).
You can find out more here.
Or if you simply feel moved to honour what we do in aiming to raise consciousness in the world through conversation and connection, please donate on our ‘From the Heart’ button on our website supporters page. Every small amount you are able to give us helps us to continue the work we are here to do which is to raise consciousness through conversation and connection so that, by developing mutual understanding, we help to make the world a better place to live in for each one of us.
We wish you all a very restful holiday and hope that 2019 will be a happy, healthy and abundant year for all of you and your loved ones.
With love,
Judy and the ConsciousCafe team
As ConsciousCafe Geneva ended 2018 with a Festive Finale last night I take a moment to reflect on the past year. We have had cafes on diverse themes such as Love; Wisdom; Time; Identity, Nationality and Nationalism; and yesterday Gratitude. We have been guided by inspirational speakers : Bonnie Fatio and “The Gifts I Give to the World”; Diana Ritchie on “Conscious Living through Sophrology”; Jane Bailey Bain on “Creating Your Own Life Story”; and Chris Burton on “Pivotal Moments that Shape Us”. We also had the great pleasure of having our Founder, Judy Piatkus, join us for a very special evening with “Two Inspirational Women". On each occasion our ConsciousCafes have lived up to their purpose, bringing people together to connect through conscious conversation and the profound interaction between strangers has been heart-warming and uplifting. It reveals the beautiful best of humanity. Each cafe has helped me to expand my ideas about the world and learn from the wisdom of others. I now count our regulars as good friends. All of these things I appreciate.
So how appropriate that we closed the year talking about gratitude before we partied a little. I shared some of the research that suggests that gratitude can affect us emotionally by lowering depression, stress and other toxic feelings, and by increasing self-esteem and fostering mental strength. It seems that being thankful can also have a positive impact on us physically with studies showing links to improved sleep, lower blood pressure, better immunity and healthier hearts. So our first conversation revolved around our reaction to this research and sharing whether and how we experience gratitude in our own lives. One woman’s words helped me to realise that when I say thanks for a glorious day/sky/event/friend it anchors me more fully in the present moment.
Debbie King, Bonnie Fatio & Judy Piatkus
We then looked at ways to experience more gratitude, in particular we tried out an exercise called “Three Good Things” where you write down three good experiences you had that day, even quite ‘simple’ ones, and how they made you feel. As I watched people share their notes I saw their faces illuminate as they remembered, relived and felt again the magic moments they had experienced that day. Things as simple as waking to snow, remembering a special hug, lunch with friends, the uplifting feelings that came from an exercise class. We realised that by taking this moment to reflect back on the day we appreciated events more fully. Incidents in time that would otherwise have passed by and perhaps not been long remembered. Some people write these daily memories on a slip of paper, pop them in a jar then give themselves the New Year gift of reading them at the end of the year. Forgotten moments are reawakened. Some years ago my husband gave me a ’gratitude rock’ which I still have, clasp when I pass it, and give brief silent thanks for my blessings. I shared this idea by giving everyone their own rock to keep, and we had our closing meditation holding them. Everyone chose their stone carefully – it’s important they feel just right in the palm of your hand!!
Studies state that cultivating gratitude does not necessarily reduce seeing the negative features of life – “people have no trouble seeing the bad stuff” – but it encourages us to acknowledge the good things and thereby open ourselves to the potential boost that saying thanks can give to our mind and body health.
What were you grateful for today?
References :
9 Powerful Ways Gratitude can Change your Life : Amy Morin
Can Gratitude be Good for your Heart? Paul J Mills & Laura Redwine
Our discussion group in Geneva is led by Debbie King, former Chief Probation Officer and Counsellor.
Click on our ConsciousCafe Geneva Meet Up page or Facebook page to message Debbie directly or for further information.
All of us are creative. At every moment we are creating the lives we want to live, the space we inhabit, the way we accomplish our work, how we relate to others.
These are some of the conclusions reached at our wonderful discussion on the topic of creativity at ConsciousCafe London this week. It was very special because when we came together and shared our thoughts we were able to access a deeper than usual part of ourselves and share it with others in what turned out to be a very rich and inspiring conscious dialogue.
For some people their passion for creativity is enjoyment of the actual process of creating, whether they do it collaboratively or alone. Some of us need people to witness our creativity for it to exist. Others are happy simply to create for their own pleasure. We may create material objects - art, sculpture, batik, rune stones – for the sheer joy of the experience and for others to enjoy. Or we might write our journals for our pleasure alone. Some people create conceptually - planning lessons, growing businesses, developing relationships. Not all creativity results in anything tangible.
All kinds of things may block our creativity – time for ourselves, space in which to create, willpower, responsibilities. Yet everything we do is an act of creativity – whether we think we are channelling our inspiration and ideas from some higher source or simply using the talents and skills that we were born with.
Our conversation seemed to leave all of us on a high. We had probed so deeply and shared from our hearts. The event had turned out to be one of the most exciting of ConsciousCafe conversations (and there have been hundreds of very good ones).
Thank you everyone for taking part. See you again soon.
JP
*The title of this piece is inspired by a line from the poem One Summer Day by Mary Oliver
What a fascinating evening we had at ConsciousCafe Canterbury - and it also generated a lot of discussion both immediately afterwards and in the proceeding days.
Our three speakers all came from very varied and interesting backgrounds. Louise Cox Chester came from a career in investment analysis and fund management but decided to leave this high flying world to set up Mindfulness at work ten years ago. Her organisation supports global corporations through designing and delivering mindfulness based training that brings focus, clarity and calm to people. Mindfulness at work has worked with over 250 organisations ranging from Cisco and Savills to Unilever and UBS. They also deliver mindful self compassion programmes in the NHS, teach in schools and run a not for profit organic retreat centre in Wingham.
Viv Moore is a Mindfulness based stress reduction (MBSR) teacher with a background in nursing and psychology, she has been a University lecturer with a PhD in Psychology. She runs 8 week MBSR courses and she has specialized particularly in helping clients with severe chronic pain. Emma Slade or Ani Pema Deki came from the banking world and the story of her transformation from high flying banker to Buddhist nun is told in her popular book Set Free which she sells in aid of the charity she set up Opening your Heart to Bhutan. As a practicing Tibetan Buddhist she says that in Tibetan there is no word for “Mindfulness” which seems curious as the practice has come out of Buddhism!
It was surprising to hear that it is not easy to even define exactly what mindfulness is despite the word being in such common parlance these days.
Louise felt that mindfulness could be defined as loving connected presence either towards self or others or towards an object; it is about being present. Viv felt that the practice dealt with the fact of life being suffering and is about addressing pain in our lives. Louise felt that mindfulness helped people make better choices in their lives, it would enable them to have a pause between stimulus and response, it would help them to communicate more effectively and to give their full attention to colleagues in meetings.
We discussed the fact that the practice may not be suitable for everyone, if someone was recently bereaved then a mindfulness meditation would make them more acutely aware of their grief, also people with mental health problems might find it painful or difficult to practice mindfulness. Everyone agreed that yoga practice can be extremely beneficial for everyone as it was mindful practice that made people aware of their bodies.
It was felt that some people got benefits similar to meditation from running or other sports or even from playing a musical instrument. We were able to experience two short meditations and in the feedback one person who had never meditated before and was surprised that in a guided short meditation they were able to clear their mind.
This is just an overview of what we talked about and I am sure that many of you found other nuggets of interest which I have failed to mention. Do let me know your thoughts on the evening.
Cora
ConsciousCafe Canterbury Leader
Congratulations to Judy Piatkus, our founder, on being the winner of Kindred Spirit magazine's Editor's Pick Award 2018.
This is a relatively new category in which Claire Gillman, the editor, chose someone whom she believes to be worthy of recognition for the important and meaningful work that they are doing.
Judy is absolutely delighted to have been chosen and wishes to share the award with all the ConsciousCafe Group Leaders and Supporters who work with her to raise global consciousness and connection through conversation.
Click here to see Judy saying 'Thank you'. Judy video
Following our very powerful September event facilitated by Claudia Roth of Soul Luxury, when we explored the new way of doing business which is learning to ‘allow’, Claudia has shared this blog with us:
My reality was shaken when I was in Auroville in the south of India last November! For many years (even decades) I created this special self-image called Claudia Roth, a successful global business leader who much enjoyed a career in luxury hospitality. I was very proud of my self-image which I curated with passion and careful attention.
Something profound happened!
No doubt you’ve heard people saying, ‘This is who I am and I won’t change!’ Leaders who maintain this position are unconsciously admitting they can’t see beyond their self-image.
To be fixated by self-image means to be non-creative and, in essence, limited to a defined set of often rigid thought processes and beliefs; this has consequences for all aspects of life.
Without realising it, many of us have created identities – or self-images – of ourselves.
Perhaps you have an image of yourself as important, as a successful businessperson, as ambitious and competent, or as someone who has all the answers. This sort of identity, built up over years, governs your view of the world more than you realise.
Jim Morrison – lead singer of The Doors – said: “We're locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains.”
Holding onto this adopted identity is like wearing a professional mask; with it in place, either in business or in life, you are not allowing yourself to be truly authentic and importantly, you are limiting yourself to new awareness so as to evolve as a business leader and individual.
Is it possible to maintain a professional identity or self-image for years and not even be aware of it? Trust me, I speak from experience – I only realised that ‘the other’ persons were there (yes ... you read correctly .... we have not only one self image but several!) when I began to question why I thought and reacted in the ways that I did.
Indeed, it is only when we start exploring our genuine thoughts, reactions, emotions and ways of living that we can begin to live in the truest sense of ourselves. And if you have reaffirmed and energised a mask successfully for many years, it can be a painstaking process to dismantle it to discover who you really are!
So, why would you want to move beyond this learned identity – your cherished self-image – especially if it has been serving you well for many years as in my instance?
The more authentic you become, the more you step into your ‘space of greatness’. You no longer pretend to be somebody else, running on ‘patterns’ or be guided to uphold your self-images. Instead you connect to your inner wisdom, which then guides you throughout your life.
As you explore your self-image, you will start challenging certain beliefs and removing others that may be limiting you. You will find yourself wanting to know the world for what it actually is, rather than what you believe it to be. You will become curious again. Creativity and inspiration will flourish as a result, becoming assets both in your life and your business. Unimaginable opportunities are unfolding!
Embarking on this process isn’t easy. It won’t provide a quick fix to all of life’s challenges. But it is a powerful experience that will connect you to your truth and inner wisdom, where you will find contentment, joy and guidance, and your next level of personal and business success.
I will be returning to Auroville soon again .... The story continues.
1. Start off by naming the labels you give to yourself. For example, “I am a successful, highly in demand, creative and outspoken manager.” Write down your labels.
2. Identify the labels you wish to dissolve and make a commitment to move closer to your ideal life situation.
3. Create some time for reflection, to explore what lies behind the labels you identify.
4. Pay attention to the story you create when you look in the mirror: do you create a negative or a positive self-image, or an over-inflated self-image guided by ego?
5. Observe your opinions: what you say, how you say it, the likes and dislikes you use to reinforce your self-image. Do you judge fairly or based on pre-conceived ideas?
6. Explore how tied you are to your memories: whether good or bad, acting in response to memories can lead to inauthentic results, from irrational fears to rose-tinted actions.
7. Take time to assess how your story, opinions, actions and reactions would be if you created them anew based on what you actually see, think and feel.
Enjoy discovering yourself! Awareness creates choice.
A little about me: I am grateful to look back at a successful, global and hugely rewarding international career in the luxury hospitality & travel industry. I have learned what luxury is and what it is not. I understand service excellence, and I know what it is not! I have travelled the world in style and had many enjoyable moments of living a corporate career.
Having now moved on from corporate life, my network describes me as a global pioneer in luxury and consciousness. People are seeking increased meaning and connection – in their lives and the brands they align with. But whether an individual or a company, true connection can only come from within: from an exploration of awareness and an unwavering commitment to authenticity and integrity.
I am the founder and Managing Director of Soul Luxury, a company operating globally that helps businesses understand these evolutionary shifts and create their own new currency of connection within themselves and with their clients.
I write articles from time to time. There is no right or wrong, it is only a view. Up to now largely my silent view.
Claudia Roth
Copyright © 2016 Soul Luxury.
The US election is nearing its conclusion. Whatever happens now, November 2016 will be a landmark date in history. For the ugliness of this election has exposed the failure of the US democratic process in that two highly unsuitable and unpopular candidates have polarised views and torn the American nation apart.
During the next week many unprecedented events may happen and each time the whole world will be shaken up. The leadership of the American nation affects every single one of us.
It has taken me a while to realise that while I do not endorse either candidate, Donald Trump's significant role in this election and in the future of humanity has been to awaken millions of people all over the world to the failure of the democratic system. If he were not an outsider and the kind of person he has shown himself to be, he would never have had the thick skin to stand up to the vitriol directed at him (most of it of course, rightly) and would not have become this year's presidential candidate. Hillary has been supported throughout by the mainstream media. But it is Donald who pulls in the crowds because he is expressing what so many Americans feel - that their country and their media and their governmental structures are not working for them. For that reason millions of people are able to forgive his many character flaws because they have recognised that America needs to change and they only see Donald as offering that hopeful possibility to them.
We do not know what will happen during the next fortnight. Whatever the news may bring, it is important to stay centred and calm and not to give our energy over to fear or to anxiety. Instead we can choose to focus on a vision of love, kindness, tolerance, peace, joy and all the good things that every human being wants to have in their lives. We can focus on those things not just for ourselves but for everyone all over the world and especially all those who are struggling to survive and those who are living in war-torn nations.
Each time you find yourself giving way to a darker thoughts, remind yourself to focus on positive energy, rather than negative. Raise your energy as high as you can for that is the only way to create a better world for all of us. Whatever may happen during the next fortnight we need to focus on whatever comes to pass being in the best interests of all of humanity (even though we may not recognise it at the time) and we must set our intention and our hopes for that to be achieved.
I have been re-visiting my ideas about mindfulness in the last few days in preparation for an event which I am facilitating.
I first came across the term ‘mindfulness’ many years ago when I was sent an early copy of Jon Kabat-Zinn’s book, Wherever You go, There You Are, with a view to my being the UK publisher for it. Jon Kabat-Zinn had taken ideas from ancient Buddhist practices and explored how to make them accessible to the mainstream. He believed that Western society had lost touch with the universal human qualities of paying attention and living with awareness.
This was 1994 and the thinking behind the book was all completely new to us at Piatkus. We had published books on meditation but this was so much more.
In the introduction the author explains that ‘wherever you go, there you are. Whatever you are thinking right now, that’s what’s on your mind.’ It looks at first like a simple observation but in fact it requires much practice and self-awareness to observe your thoughts in this way. The important question we must each ask ourselves is how best to respond to any given situation in which we find ourselves and the answer to that question lies in responding with your full awareness to whatever is going on for you right there in that moment.
Whatever has happened has already happened. The future is unknown. When we can truly learn to live in the present, to ‘be in touch with where we already are’, then we are in a situation where we have the most to gain for we can understand more of ‘the truth’ of what we are really experiencing and ideally respond with wisdom and heartfelt understanding.
I took the book to the editorial meeting and we were all keen to go ahead. But the ideas were so new at the time, that we thought we would need to change the title of the book or we would have difficulty in selling it into the bookshops (this was long before the days of amazon). Accordingly we retitled it Mindfulness Meditation for Everyday Life. We printed an initial edition of 3000 copies. The Daily Mail wrote a piece about it which resonated so profoundly that the book sold out within a week. It nevertheless took many years before it was taken up by psychotherapists as a tool to help their patients and subsequently the concept of mindfulness found its way into the NHS and after that became mainstream.
Now mindfulness has become an industry. People know that practising mindfulness is good for them but they are not sure why. It takes time to become mindful of who we are as individuals, how we respond to different situations in the way that we do, whether we are truly living our lives the way we want to, whether we are living from our hearts.
Mindfulness has been an extraordinary gift to the world. and the gifts it offers are available to each and every one one of us every day of our lives – as long as we are aware when we are truly ‘there’.
For those interested you can click here to purchase or review Jon Kabat - Zinn's book: Wherever You Go, There You Are.
ConsciousCafe celebrated its 5th birthday at the beginning of July with a lively party for 50 people. 6 of them had been at the original ConsciousCafe group launch in 2011.
Kenny and Judy jointly compered and introduced Viv Garbe who opened the party with a beautifully delivered meditation to bring peace to the world.
We then took 2 minutes to introduce ourselves to someone in the room whom we had never met before to ask the question ‘How did you become spiritual?’ This led to some beautiful stories and sharing moments.
In typical ConsciousCafe style everyone was then offered discussion options. Choices included ‘Where does Happiness come from?’ or ‘Who are you?’ and for those who felt like something more lighthearted, you could choose a miscellaneous card with a provocative question on it and explore that in groups.
It was a bright summers evening and light seemed to stream through the windows and fill the room. We shared another short meditation and a moving closing circle, taking time to celebrate everyone connecting for this lovely anniversary. The moment was captured with a group photo and we all sang 'Happy Birthday'.
By then we were all starving and enjoyed supper, more conversation and birthday cake.
It was truly a special evening, beautifully captured with many excellent photos by Jon, which you can find on our Facebook page, here.
Illuminating the ShadowDavid Furlong’s latest book, Illuminating the Shadow, is a wonderful, erudite account of the human psyche, particularly in its wounded and hidden aspects. First we are introduced to the concept of the Shadow in films, literature, myth, metaphor and Fairy Tales, before learning how it manifests at a personal, public and collective level. Finally, we are taught how to learn from and integrate this aspect of ourselves, and of the human condition.Illuminating the Shadowis full of practical insights drawn from Furlong’s work as a therapist, with exercises to help the reader explore and make peace with him or herself. It is the sort of book that deserves more than one reading; that asks to be borrowed and lent so that the wisdom contained within can be shared as widely as possible.
Dr Fiona Bowie, King’s College London & the Afterlife Research Centre
author of the best selling Anthropology of Religion (Blackwell)
****
Illuminating the Shadow explores a rich breadth of academic knowledge and everyday life experience with great depth and wisdom. Scholarly exposition of shadow through history, the arts and sciences provides far-reaching insights for human nature and global society. Story, myth and metaphor show how we express and try to understand our own complexity, divine mystery and the struggle between good and evil at personal and collective levels. And bringing dark psyche into the light shows shadow in relief, not to be eliminated but illuminated since, in its vital integrative function, it is both teacher and healer. Therapeutic examples and exercises in shadow work demonstrate the journey into light and compassionate love, with free will continuously informed by evolving consciousness, that points us towards full relationship with the living human God, and with our selves and each other. For the advancement of mental and spiritual health, this eminently practical book deserves a wide readership.
Dr David McDonald, Consultant Psychiatrist and Advisor in the Church of England’s Healing Ministry
To purchase from Amazon, click below:
The indoors Wormwood Scrubs Pony Centre was built as part of Anneka Rice’s Challenge programme in the ‘80s and does incredibly important work to improve the lives of disabled people. 40 of us arrived there on a warm light summer evening, excited as to what we might learn and some of us a little apprehensive having never worked alongside horses before.
How do we Lead in a time of Uncertainty
Jude explained that we can learn a lot about leadership from horses because they have no agenda. Working with horses is working with uncertainty and as all leaders must work with uncertainty, the horses mirror how each of us leads in situations and times of uncertainty.
Four volunteers chose to work with two beautiful horses and each of them took a turn leading one of the horses around the arena while the audience observed closely their leadership style. Leading a horse can be difficult for no one knows how the horses will respond. Each volunteer revealed how the experience had felt for them and what they had learned.
What Part do We Play in the Team?
Jude and Emma then invited all the participants into the arena with the horses and gave each of us the opportunity to explore how we lead – from the front, from the side or from behind. They presented new ways of thinking about our position in the team and gave us the opportunity to experience how this felt as we all took part in a simple group exercise.
In a final task, all those who particularly wanted to work with the horses stayed in the arena and completed an activity which involved working in teams and leading the horses through an obstacle course. As I watched this final exercise from the audience stand, I felt a lump come into my throat. People who had never met before had worked beautifully as a team with two very wise animals to move in seamless flow and harmony. I thought that the exercise also reflected the energy of people who come to ConsciousCafe, trusting, present, intuitive, thoughtful, caring.
At the end of the session everyone had the opportunity to be with the horses in the arena and to share in groups what they had experienced and what they had learned about their own leadership style and capabilities. Everyone departed the event with new knowledge about themselves, learned in the most memorable and unique way.
Huge thanks to Jude and Emma for giving their time and for sharing their expertise. If you want to learn more, you can read Jude’s book Leadership Beyond Measure, details of which are on the books page at ConsciousCafe. Emma told us the remarkable story of the Pony centre and if you would like to volunteer there, you can learn more here.
Judy
ConsciousCafe Founder
Since then ConsciousCafe has run more than 75 discussion groups and workshops and a retreat as well. A few hundred people have attended our events – all of them hearing about what ConsciousCafe offers by word-of-mouth as we have only begun to advertise our events publicly in the last few months.
Our passion is for community, connection and exploration – all in an atmosphere of lightheartedness. We have never taken ourselves too seriously. As a result, many wonderful friendships have been formed and fabulous connections made.
As one member has said ‘its so good to walk into a room and meet so many people who immediately understand where you are coming from and what you are saying’.
Now we are spreading our wings. We invite you to join us on this journey as all of us contribute what we can to creating a better world by raising consciousness about who we are and how we live, one conversation at a time.
We have some fabulous events lined up for the next few months and more will be added very soon. Book now and take advantage of our Earlybird discounts. Last year we had three events which sold out completely and while we usually have space at the last moment, some of the venues we use are strict about numbers.
Thank you to everyone who has been on the journey so far and especially to all our Supporters who come to our events and who have contributed financially to help us build this site and to the ConsciousCafe volunteer group who offer so much of their time to helping build the network. Last but not least massive thanks are due to Gary of Studio74 Creative Design for being so easy to work with, Kate Cowan of Fox Brand Marketing for her constant inspiration and to Joyce Deen who works tirelessly behind the scenes keeping the show on the road. We love all of you and we look forward to seeing you at ConsciousCafe soon.
Judy
ConsciousCafe Founder
Sara Troy of Positive Living interviews our own Judy Piatkus about ConsciousCafe, how it started and where it's going, Judy's worldview and also a segment on self-publishing versus traditional publishing towards the end. (more…)
Does the word conscious make you switch on or turn off?
Last night I went to an interactive discussion around Conscious Leadership with a group of 30 other people who were invited through ConsciousCafe, a select group run by entrepreneur, motivational speaker and founder of publishing company Piatkus Books, Judy Piatkus. For some time now, Judy has been keen to explore the group's thoughts, feelings and bias towards the use of the term 'conscious leader'.
What I particularly liked about the evening was that the facilitator Judy had (well) chosen, Charlie Efford, didn’t at any point seek to influence or tell us what he thought conscious leadership actually meant, which to me was a good example of conscious leadership in action. (more…)
By Joseph Jaworski, with an introduction by Peter Senge.
This is a book that has been mentioned to me, on many occasions, by close friends and colleagues. And for years, I believed that “I didn’t need to read it”. I was so wrong. A copy of it happened to be on one of my friend’s shelves during a brief visit to Holland this summer. I picked it up and browsed through it. A number of words immediately caught my eye – one of those was “dialogue”, as Jaworski had the immense privilege of meeting and chatting with the physicist, David Bohm, one afternoon in London and I am particularly interested in ‘dialogue’. Almost immediately I found myself reading large sections of it. I bought a copy on my return home and now consider it to be one of the best books I have ever read about surrendering to life and learning to respond to what it needs from us, rather than egoistically believing that we can plan, control and manipulate it to our advantage.
The charm of Jaworski’s story is that it is his own, personal story. He was a successful North American lawyer from a famous family of lawyers, and the promise of a successful life ahead of him - until the day his wife suddenly asked him for a divorce. He was in his early 40’s. His world crashed around him and he was faced with having to construct a new one. Within that process, he found himself again, and re-discovered ways to connect with his intuition and the natural flow of life.
Many good things happened to him personally and professionally from then on.
His life is particularly interesting if you are interested in the subject of leadership. As a result of a series of very interesting events and encounters – what some might describe as “coincidences” - , Jaworski found himself “called” to fund the American Leadership Forum. He was then headhunted to lead the now very famous scenario building team at Shell headquarters in the UK.
This book offers some great tips on how to be, learn, intuit and change, and work in partnership with life – not against it, or in spite of it... One tip that will remain with me is to nurture the courage to act on what we sense. In particular, to reach out to people we meet and immediately “know” from the moment we first see them – without knowing why or how. That is how Jaworski met his second wife – in an airport, of all places - and many other key figures on his journey. We often allow our mind to hold us back, out of fear, or out of respect to social norms. Jaworski’s life story shows that life can be more rewarding when we trust and follow our inner knowing and allow ourselves to connect with others, only because we sense we need to – not because we need something specific from them - ; thus, we are able to allow life to unfold according to its natural, benevolent flow.
The moral of the story? Good things happen when we listen to our inner voice or follow our intuition – when we are connected to it...
Review by Caroline Pakel, from to the heart, a creative problem solving agency facilitating understanding and change for groups and individuals. www.totheheart.com
Do you remember learning to ride a bike?
I do. Mark Rogers from no. 25 taught me in our street, in front of all the neighbours. I remember the moment of panic as I suddenly realised that I was riding on my own, without stabilisers or Mark holding on to the back of my seat. I wobbled and nearly fell, not because I didn’t have the balance or skill, but because every thought in my panicked head began: ‘am I?’
The moment I became secure was the moment I learned to say “I am!”
Do you remember when you first learned to swim without water wings in the deep end of the swimming pool? Alan, my ex-flatmate / ex-business partner taught me. I remember swimming beyond the shallow end, realizing that the water below me was far deeper than the length of my legs. I could have felt panic. I could have felt terror. When I disengaged from it and thought about it, I felt fear. But when I engaged with my stroke, breathing into the present moment, I allowed it to carry me. I felt myself float and I swam with the calm and joy of a Buddhist dolphin.
This article is about two states which I call ‘am I?’ and “I am”. The two perspectives on life that we can take in our every moment, either consciously or unconsciously. I hope it will help you to recognise which state you are in at any given moment. I’d like to share a few tricks on how to change state from ‘am I?’ into one of “I am”. Here’s a run-down:
‘Am I?’ is driven by an external sense of self. The feeling that who we are is determined by others, as we hand our power over to them. Often it arises from our dated doubts and fears, paranoia and projected fantasy expectations. It leaves us in a constant state of doing – reacting, spinning plates and putting on a good show, troubleshooting life as we attract trouble to shoot.
‘Am I?’ attracts repetitive unhelpful patterns and same old unsatisfactory outcomes. It’s a life lived in survival mode. It’s a life lived in fear and panic, dodging judgement and abandonment. ‘Am I?’ has us shallow breathing, power-thinking, panic-reacting, second-guessing, uptight, on our guard, ready to fight, flight or freeze.
This self-preservation instinct has, no doubt, helped billions of people survive life-threatening situations, but how do we let our inner protectors know that the war is over – that it’s safe now? Once we progress beyond living in survival mode, our old protective shields can turn into tight little cages that restrict our lives from growing. Such control leaves little, if any room for who I am to take root and flower.
In my 25 years of work in this arena, the most frequent concern I have heard from men is a lack of control. I have met men who would rather kill themselves than be out of control. Men come to me running from the two big male fears: humiliation and abandonment. They all come in wanting something, and rather than getting that thing, they make their hero’s journey from‘am I?’ to “I am”, and along the way, they make authentic space for themselves.
If ‘am I?’ is external, “I am” comes from an internal sense of self. It is conscious. It is authentic. It brings out the best of who we are in the present moment. It’s aware of our baggage, but it doesn’t let it run the show. It attracts calm, certainty, safety and the right people. It allows things to flow efficiently, where meeting our own needs comes first, enabling us to extend ourselves to others. It is a very comfortable and powerful place of being.
I am is awash with endorphins, the substance our bodies create that produces a feeling of wellbeing. Similar to how we feel after exercise, in love, at orgasm, or a relief from pain. Safe and able to take part in life, sharing, receiving and growing.
If you are anything like me, you have probably felt moments of terror when asked to take the spotlight, a platform, on a stage. By coming from I am, I have found a way to take these opportunities and enjoy giving them my best shot, rather than fearing every step. I have learned to focus on an outcome beyond my edge. Then the journey brings me alive. Am I? would take me back to the troubled child who fluffed his lines and had the school laughing. I am takes care of that frightened child and brings him on stage with me, showing him how wonderful the view is from here as we unlearn the past together in a breath.
My trusty shields protected me from public humiliation for all those years, but also kept me from realising my potential as I blocked life’s opportunities. That shield is no longer running the show. My long-suppressed inner showman now relishes the endless possibilities of authentic, playful presentations that bring praise, celebration, self-acceptance, self-nurture and invitations for more. Beyond this, he’s up for fun, risks and even trusting Channel 4’s ‘Cutting Edge’ as my shadow is paraded for all and sundry! This is now my norm and the fear of criticism, humiliation, rejection, abandonment and abuse – from myself or others – can be the fuel that drives me forward. What a relief!
As soon as I catch myself lost in my headspace, I move from Am I? to I am in just one breath. As I inhale I fill my lungs with air and I fill my heart with the contentment ofbe~ing, thinking ‘thank you for reminding me who I used to be’. As I exhale, I let go of the stressful demands that my inner am I? is trying to foist upon me and with a quiet mind I engage with what’s in front of me. I take part in life.
I often had inner dialogues with my thoughts and emotions running constantly in the background. Times and places that I had not quite let go of, that I survived, but that I still carried around. I put those things to paper and disassociated from them, so I can look at them from the outside rather than believing that this was who I am. I am who I am right here and right now.
If the ‘am I?’ to “I am” breath doesn’t cut it, there may be a depressed ‘pause button’ that keeps you stuck somewhere in the past. As you breathe into the feeling, let yourself follow it to its source. It is likely to take you back to a specific scene, incident, or time in your life that will likely reveal itself, ready for acceptance and reconsolidation info a life beyond old limitations. Clearing up what’s in the shadow makes space for more in the light of daily life.
My wife once said to me “all this talk of alcoholism, drug addiction, sex and love addiction, workaholism, I don’t buy it! I think it’s all addiction to thoughts and emotions!” Spot on! She reminded me that I am not my thoughts. I am not my emotions. I am not my history. I am a free spirit, on an earthly adventure, creating my reality as I straddle my cycles of life, swimming high on the crest of a wave with quiet confidence, natural courage and on purpose. I am.
article first appeared here: http://www.kennydcruz.com/how-to-be-free/
Abundance is a very popular word right now. Sometimes it almost seems as though the word “abundance” is a socially acceptable way of saying "lots of money!" Although an increase in material wealth may be a goal for many, the true meaning of abundance goes beyond just simply having or acquiring more money. It's more all-encompassing and bigger than that. Abundance is a feeling. It's something that is already there that just needs to be tapped into. Abundance is gratitude and seeing the richness in every moment. Abundance is love. More and more, people are realizing that abundance is a choice. Take a look at some of these great quotes on abundance, to explore its true meaning and feel free to share what abundance means to you in the comments below.
original article appears here: http://spiritualityhealth.com/articles/50-quotes-abundance
ConsciousCafe is a not-for-profit organisation, a friendly and welcoming community, a place to live life consciously.
Our discussion group in Geneva is led by Debbie King, former Chief Probation Officer and Counsellor.