ConsciousCafe Canterbury held a wonderful, deep and honest conversation on the topic of uncertainty at The Conservatory, which is the perfect place with an intimate feel. Perfect to hold a thoughtful and mindful discussion.
Our conversation ranged far and wide from talking to the moon, and finding solace from the moon and nature. We realised that we need to accept uncertainty as part of life. We felt that religion may help some people deal with uncertainty by giving them something they could trust in and a feeling of something greater than themselves. One participant, Vicky, said it is best to “go with the flow and accept that we are just a little wave on the ocean”.
Each of our group looked back to a time many years ago when they faced uncertainty and dealt with it and looked at what they had learnt. Richard remembered that at a difficult time of uncertainty in his career, keeping a dialogue with everyone really helped him. Another participant said that she had learnt that uncertainty “bears a gift”, and “we can learn to thrive on uncertainty. Feel it, allow it and surrender. See what your gut feels”.
Everyone is different in their reactions to uncertainty. For some, it may trigger fear and stop them progressing whilst others feel the fear and uncertainty but don’t let it hold them back. What are your experiences with uncertainty?
This post is written by Cora Kemball-Cook, leader of ConsciousCafe Canterbury. Follow the Canterbury group page to keep up to date with upcoming meetings!
Thank you to all those who braved the snow to come to ConsciousCafe Geneva last night. We broke a record – one person had to get the train home to Bern afterwards! Our discussions on “2019 and Beyond – How can I be my best self?” were all about our values. It was fascinating that people prioritised very different values, and it helped with my life lessons on judgement to realise why people might not act according to MY expectations sometimes! Why are our values so important, we asked? Because they are our life guide and compass. They show us the way. They make us who we are. They are so important than when we live or work in conflict with them we can become ill, physically and mentally. Do we all live to our values? Even when challenged? We wondered, if asked, would your family and closest friends be able to say what your main values are? After very engaging discussions we ended by examining just ONE value we would like to strengthen in ourselves and a brief closing meditation focused on feeling, being and exuding that value as we went out into the world. Conversation at ConsciousCafe Geneva takes place at small tables, which we mix up several times, so the conversations constantly change and you meet new, like-minded people. For many reasons there always seems to be a very warm atmosphere and we all leave uplifted. It’s about the people contact I think, connecting on a deeper level than usual. And it’s really very beautiful! Join us sometime.
All of us are creative. At every moment we are creating the lives we want to live, the space we inhabit, the way we accomplish our work, how we relate to others.
These are some of the conclusions reached at our wonderful discussion on the topic of creativity at ConsciousCafe London this week. It was very special because when we came together and shared our thoughts we were able to access a deeper than usual part of ourselves and share it with others in what turned out to be a very rich and inspiring conscious dialogue.
For some people their passion for creativity is enjoyment of the actual process of creating, whether they do it collaboratively or alone. Some of us need people to witness our creativity for it to exist. Others are happy simply to create for their own pleasure. We may create material objects - art, sculpture, batik, rune stones – for the sheer joy of the experience and for others to enjoy. Or we might write our journals for our pleasure alone. Some people create conceptually - planning lessons, growing businesses, developing relationships. Not all creativity results in anything tangible.
All kinds of things may block our creativity – time for ourselves, space in which to create, willpower, responsibilities. Yet everything we do is an act of creativity – whether we think we are channelling our inspiration and ideas from some higher source or simply using the talents and skills that we were born with.
Our conversation seemed to leave all of us on a high. We had probed so deeply and shared from our hearts. The event had turned out to be one of the most exciting of ConsciousCafe conversations (and there have been hundreds of very good ones).
Thank you everyone for taking part. See you again soon.
JP
*The title of this piece is inspired by a line from the poem One Summer Day by Mary Oliver
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| My indoor conservatory - the ornament shelf from London repurposed and now holding my collection of plants that I've grown from scratch. Very good feng shui - I have been growing like my plants !! |
For the last two years, since leaving my beloved London house, I have been setting up new foundations for myself. I am not even crystal-clear about what happens next but as Kevin Costner famously said "if you build it they will come".
Now that this new container is done, I am currently focusing on the details of creating order, one of life's essential support systems. Finding a place for everything and everything in its place. Oh the joy of being efficient and finding everything!
My diary is quite spacious at the moment and I am relishing having a long breather away from the fray .... but I can feel momentum gathering in the ether (like the faint rumble of stampeding hooves in the far distance). Let's see how this coming year unfolds.
I will be in San Francisco in February for Wisdom 2.0, again, a place where I truly find my tribe. It is my sixth time attending and I'm taking colleagues with me from London, Iceland, Germany and Sydney. Four of us have been working on a program leveraging the power and potency of reinvention. It is called "From Warrior to Warrior - How to Reinvent Yourself at Any Age and Take on the World". We are looking to arrange events and opportunities to speak while we are in San Francisco and California in February 20-28th. I am also hoping to have a chance to host a Women's Gathering there too. Do get in touch if you have suggestions. Thank you. Keep in touch via the Worrier to Warrior Facebook page.
Much of my life force in 2016 (just before the building mayhem took over my life) went into producing a series of The Rise of the Feminine radio programmes. A new series will be back this year .... so many of the conversations that I had 18 months ago are just now gathering real interest.
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Finally, I want to share the news of my mentor, spiritual grandmother and friend Dadi Janki. She is 102 this month. Unbelievable, especially as she is still working (Head of the Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University). Apparently she's just been to Southern India to open a new retreat centre and has been speaking to 500 people. We are expecting her in London in April...... so that is exciting. And the community of women who we recognised in the 100 Women of Spirit initiative to honour Dadi's 100 years, continues to gather pace. We are creating an event on June 16th to support young women and share the wisdom of older women with Millennials and vice versa! Let me know if you want an invite or know a young woman.
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What are they all waiting for??! |
ConsciousCafe founder Judy Piatkus was quoted in a recent piece published in The Guardian. Sales of mind, body and spirit books are booming this year. Judy thinks this is a reflection of how society is changing. She believes that people are questioning how we live, what is working and what is not working. Younger people are growing up with a different set of values and this is reflected in the growth of sales in this area of the book market.
This is all good news for people who come to ConsciousCafe and want to explore all these new ideas with one another, helping each other to raise consciousness and awareness of change as we journey forward together.
A lively group of people gathered to enjoy a wide-ranging and thoughtful discussion on the topic of ‘What is Truth’?
While ConsciousCafe isn’t a physical space, this time we were meeting in a café/bar and so it was a fun ambience for a serious topic.
Our expert facilitator Caroline Shola Arewa led us in a meditation and then posed some questions to set us thinking. Everyone had some ideas to share and it soon became clear that ‘truth’ means many different things both to different people and at different times of our lives.
Strong themes that came through were the importance of recognising that people can experience the same event but their personal truth about the event will be different. Communication is very important in order to understand each others' different point of view of what their truth actually means to them.
Truth can also change with time. Many years later, with more age, wisdom and understanding what appeared to be true in the past can sometimes be seen in a different light. We realised also that much of what each one of us might regard as personal truth is sometimes more perception than actual truth.
The prime quality of truth is that it resonates inside, connects with your heart, feels good. Sometimes you have to dig deep to find the truth as it is buried under the clutter.
Some people are so sure of the rightness of their views that they become convinced they are true in spite of all evidence to the contrary. Others twist the facts to suit their own agenda. While these are much discussed topics at the present moment, we recognised that throughout history there have always been some human beings who have behaved in that way.
After exploring personal truths, Shola shared ideas about the Four Noble Truths of Buddhism and what truth meant for her personally. We explored some of the ancient wisdoms about Truth.
Finally we came to some conclusions. Several of us felt that as we have become older, we feel ‘we know nothing’. Others had recognised that as soon as they let go of having to be right and having a need to defend their opinions, life had become much easier, for, in truth, we all hold different opinions and ideas about the world which we regard as true. As soon as we can let go of our need to be right and tolerate and respect different points of view, the world will become a much more peaceful place.
ConsciousCafe’s London group were treated to a very inspiring evening at the end of January when Deborah Henley demonstrated how we can inspire ourselves and others by using our emotional intelligence and a variety of other techniques.
In a concise two hour presentation and interactive session Deborah offered so many inspiring ideas that soon all of us were firing on different cylinders. Each of us was invited to share a time when we had unexpectedly been inspired. Our combined experiences showed that a challenging event could often become the catalyst for a change in our lives that could inspire us to make our best decisions. I especially liked Margaret’s story of how she was inspired to change direction in her career when she found herself driving the wrong way round a one-way system.
Our emotional intelligence skills come into play when we consider ourselves in relation to others. We need to have an awareness of our own emotions and how we respond to different situations and we need the skills of self-managing our emotional state.
At the same time we need to be aware of other people’s emotions and to be able to tune into to how they are feeling or to what the atmosphere is in the culture we are working in e.g. if there are a lot of politics in a particular organisation. In relation to others our skills can be seen in the way we communicate our message, manage conflict and above all, in how we show up to inspire others with our presence.
Deborah shared a wide range of ideas and the group contributed thoughts and experiences. My favourite exercise was when we had the opportunity to imagine a future hypothetical personal dream had taken place. (Apparently this exercise is often used by hypnotherapists). I was inspired by a vision of the opening of a building, dedicated solely to ConsciousCafe where we could all meet up. I had a clear vision of what it would look like, how it would feel and how it would be used and I was able to communicate my enthusiasm and inspiration very easily to my partner. Now we just have to make it happen!
Many thanks once again to Deborah Henley for giving so generously of her time to present this event for us at ConsciousCafe. Deborah’s new website is under construction but you can find and follow her on @Deborahhenley
Following our very powerful September event facilitated by Claudia Roth of Soul Luxury, when we explored the new way of doing business which is learning to ‘allow’, Claudia has shared this blog with us:
My reality was shaken when I was in Auroville in the south of India last November! For many years (even decades) I created this special self-image called Claudia Roth, a successful global business leader who much enjoyed a career in luxury hospitality. I was very proud of my self-image which I curated with passion and careful attention.
Something profound happened!
No doubt you’ve heard people saying, ‘This is who I am and I won’t change!’ Leaders who maintain this position are unconsciously admitting they can’t see beyond their self-image.
To be fixated by self-image means to be non-creative and, in essence, limited to a defined set of often rigid thought processes and beliefs; this has consequences for all aspects of life.
Without realising it, many of us have created identities – or self-images – of ourselves.
Perhaps you have an image of yourself as important, as a successful businessperson, as ambitious and competent, or as someone who has all the answers. This sort of identity, built up over years, governs your view of the world more than you realise.
Jim Morrison – lead singer of The Doors – said: “We're locked in an image, an act - and the sad thing is, people get so used to their image, they grow attached to their masks. They love their chains.”
Holding onto this adopted identity is like wearing a professional mask; with it in place, either in business or in life, you are not allowing yourself to be truly authentic and importantly, you are limiting yourself to new awareness so as to evolve as a business leader and individual.
Is it possible to maintain a professional identity or self-image for years and not even be aware of it? Trust me, I speak from experience – I only realised that ‘the other’ persons were there (yes ... you read correctly .... we have not only one self image but several!) when I began to question why I thought and reacted in the ways that I did.
Indeed, it is only when we start exploring our genuine thoughts, reactions, emotions and ways of living that we can begin to live in the truest sense of ourselves. And if you have reaffirmed and energised a mask successfully for many years, it can be a painstaking process to dismantle it to discover who you really are!
So, why would you want to move beyond this learned identity – your cherished self-image – especially if it has been serving you well for many years as in my instance?
The more authentic you become, the more you step into your ‘space of greatness’. You no longer pretend to be somebody else, running on ‘patterns’ or be guided to uphold your self-images. Instead you connect to your inner wisdom, which then guides you throughout your life.
As you explore your self-image, you will start challenging certain beliefs and removing others that may be limiting you. You will find yourself wanting to know the world for what it actually is, rather than what you believe it to be. You will become curious again. Creativity and inspiration will flourish as a result, becoming assets both in your life and your business. Unimaginable opportunities are unfolding!
Embarking on this process isn’t easy. It won’t provide a quick fix to all of life’s challenges. But it is a powerful experience that will connect you to your truth and inner wisdom, where you will find contentment, joy and guidance, and your next level of personal and business success.
I will be returning to Auroville soon again .... The story continues.
1. Start off by naming the labels you give to yourself. For example, “I am a successful, highly in demand, creative and outspoken manager.” Write down your labels.
2. Identify the labels you wish to dissolve and make a commitment to move closer to your ideal life situation.
3. Create some time for reflection, to explore what lies behind the labels you identify.
4. Pay attention to the story you create when you look in the mirror: do you create a negative or a positive self-image, or an over-inflated self-image guided by ego?
5. Observe your opinions: what you say, how you say it, the likes and dislikes you use to reinforce your self-image. Do you judge fairly or based on pre-conceived ideas?
6. Explore how tied you are to your memories: whether good or bad, acting in response to memories can lead to inauthentic results, from irrational fears to rose-tinted actions.
7. Take time to assess how your story, opinions, actions and reactions would be if you created them anew based on what you actually see, think and feel.
Enjoy discovering yourself! Awareness creates choice.
A little about me: I am grateful to look back at a successful, global and hugely rewarding international career in the luxury hospitality & travel industry. I have learned what luxury is and what it is not. I understand service excellence, and I know what it is not! I have travelled the world in style and had many enjoyable moments of living a corporate career.
Having now moved on from corporate life, my network describes me as a global pioneer in luxury and consciousness. People are seeking increased meaning and connection – in their lives and the brands they align with. But whether an individual or a company, true connection can only come from within: from an exploration of awareness and an unwavering commitment to authenticity and integrity.
I am the founder and Managing Director of Soul Luxury, a company operating globally that helps businesses understand these evolutionary shifts and create their own new currency of connection within themselves and with their clients.
I write articles from time to time. There is no right or wrong, it is only a view. Up to now largely my silent view.
Claudia Roth
Copyright © 2016 Soul Luxury.
The indoors Wormwood Scrubs Pony Centre was built as part of Anneka Rice’s Challenge programme in the ‘80s and does incredibly important work to improve the lives of disabled people. 40 of us arrived there on a warm light summer evening, excited as to what we might learn and some of us a little apprehensive having never worked alongside horses before.
How do we Lead in a time of Uncertainty
Jude explained that we can learn a lot about leadership from horses because they have no agenda. Working with horses is working with uncertainty and as all leaders must work with uncertainty, the horses mirror how each of us leads in situations and times of uncertainty.
Four volunteers chose to work with two beautiful horses and each of them took a turn leading one of the horses around the arena while the audience observed closely their leadership style. Leading a horse can be difficult for no one knows how the horses will respond. Each volunteer revealed how the experience had felt for them and what they had learned.
What Part do We Play in the Team?
Jude and Emma then invited all the participants into the arena with the horses and gave each of us the opportunity to explore how we lead – from the front, from the side or from behind. They presented new ways of thinking about our position in the team and gave us the opportunity to experience how this felt as we all took part in a simple group exercise.
In a final task, all those who particularly wanted to work with the horses stayed in the arena and completed an activity which involved working in teams and leading the horses through an obstacle course. As I watched this final exercise from the audience stand, I felt a lump come into my throat. People who had never met before had worked beautifully as a team with two very wise animals to move in seamless flow and harmony. I thought that the exercise also reflected the energy of people who come to ConsciousCafe, trusting, present, intuitive, thoughtful, caring.
At the end of the session everyone had the opportunity to be with the horses in the arena and to share in groups what they had experienced and what they had learned about their own leadership style and capabilities. Everyone departed the event with new knowledge about themselves, learned in the most memorable and unique way.
Huge thanks to Jude and Emma for giving their time and for sharing their expertise. If you want to learn more, you can read Jude’s book Leadership Beyond Measure, details of which are on the books page at ConsciousCafe. Emma told us the remarkable story of the Pony centre and if you would like to volunteer there, you can learn more here.
Judy
ConsciousCafe Founder
Street Wisdom is the brainchild of David Pearl who believes that many of the answers to questions and problems that challenge us in our lives can be found in the streets around us, if we would only take the time to look.
We divided into three groups and each of us went to a different part of Camden Market. It was still fairly quiet, early in the morning and easy to absorb all the amazing sights and sounds as the many stallholders set out their wares and the food vendors prepared their meals. Each facilitator sent their group members on four ten-minute short walks with a specific issue to observe and think about during that time. These exercises put us in an altered state in that we all became very relaxed. Then we were left with time to wander round the market and observe what answers to our questions would come up for us.
After 50 minutes or so we all met in a nearby bar and again, in our groups, shared our experiences.
The answer to my own question had come very fast and kept being reinforced as I wandered round the market. One woman had a question regarding her relationship and she spotted a sign that made it very clear that the decision she wanted to make was the right one. Another participant was clarifying ideas about where to live and the Street Wisdom Experience opened her mind to new possibilities. Everyone in all the groups had gained from the wisdom of the streets.
Many years ago I read Living Magically by Gill Edwards, her first book, which introduced me to the concept of metaphysics and how helpful signs are all around us if we allow ourselves to be sufficiently aware to take the time to see. Street Wisdom also works in the same way reminding us that our knowingness operates on so many different levels. I like the idea that I could repeat my Street Wisdom experience any time I want to when I have another important question that needs an answer.
ConsciousCafe will be happy to offer another Street Wisdom experience in due course if anyone was unable to take part in this one. Just let us know at judy@consciouscafe.co.org and when we have enough people we will set it up.
Meanwhile, to find out more here is David Pearl, who founded Street Wisdom and was one of our facilitators, talking about it in a TED speech
JP
May 2016
ConsciousCafe is a not-for-profit organisation, a friendly and welcoming community, a place to live life consciously.